


Shame

by jessx0418



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Bipolar Disorder, F/M, Harry will be Even, Louis will be Isak, M/M, May add tags later, Original Female Characters - Freeform, Original Male Characters - Freeform, Recreational Drug Use, SKAM, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Build, Underage - Freeform, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, haven't decided yet, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, may be smut, possible trigger warning, pretty much, slight homophobia, sort of, very slight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-15 03:45:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9217142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessx0418/pseuds/jessx0418
Summary: Basically Skam if it was set in the U.S. and with Harry and Louis instead of Isak and Even.





	1. Yeah You Bleed Just to Know You're Alive

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
>  
> 
> So I, like many others, am OBSESSED with Skam. Like there is not a day I don't watch at least one episodes. And like a lot of others I am obsessed with Isak and Even's relationship. So this is a story that is basically Skam with a Harry/Louis relationship instead from Louis' point of view. There will be some parts that are not in the show, or I've added to, and there will be parts that are pulled directly from the show. 
> 
> I hope I do the show justice. If it is well received I will keep writing, I've written a few chapters already but if no one likes it I probably won't finish it. So if people like it, I will probably post a new chapter every week. This is going to coincide with the episodes, so chapter one will be for episode one, chapter two for episode two and so on. 
> 
> Also some of the chapter names are from songs of the episode they are from. Others are going to be different song lyrics. 
> 
> There is going to be underage drinking and drug use. There will also be the plot of bipolar disorder like there is in the show so if this is a trigger for you, you may want to skip this story. 
> 
> One more thing, texts are going to be in bold and italicized. Texts on the left will be from someone else, texts on the right will be from Louis. I will try my best to remember to put who the texts are from above them. 
> 
> So again, I hope you all like it and I hope I do it some sort of justice.
> 
>  
> 
> All mistakes are my own.

_Ah another Friday._

Louis Tomlinson was a sophomore at Adams High School and Friday nights were for partying. Louis was currently holding a red Solo cup full of some type of beer. The house they were in was packed full of people. There were kids drinking, dancing, and making out all around him. The music was so loud he could barely hear himself think and the lights were all different colors as they circled the room.

“Louis!”

Louis turned his head, seeing his best friend Liam Payne coming towards him.

“Come on, we got stuff.” He said in his ear.

 Louis followed him through the house and into a bathroom where their friends Zayn Malik and Niall Horan were sitting in a tub.

“Boys.” Louis said as he sat on the edge of the tub.

Liam squeezed in between Zayn and Niall as Zayn pulled out a bong.

“Did you get good stuff this time?” Niall asked.

“Whatever that shit was good last time.” Zayn replied as he flicked the light in the lighter.

“That shit was terrible. I didn’t feel anything.” Niall replied.

“Whatever then you don’t have to take a hit.” Zayn replied, blowing smoke out.

“Hell no, Malik, pass it here!” Niall exclaimed as he grabbed the bong and lighter from Zayn.

“Did you all see what Becca was wearing?” Niall asked as he passed the bong to Liam.

“I thought she was going to fall out of her top.” Liam said as he took a hit. “She’s not even wearing a bra.” He chuckled, passing the bong to Louis.

“I don’t think any of the girls are tonight.” Zayn chuckled.

“Did you see Emily?”

“Hot mess.” Niall laughed.

“She is so wasted already.” Liam agreed.

“I feel bad for Zack. He looked pissed.”

“I would be too if I had to take care of her drunk ass every weekend.” Zayn said.

“Too bad cause she’s a fine piece of ass.” Niall said. “I’d hit it.”

“Same.” Liam said as he blew out smoke.

“I think everyone would.” Zayn replied.

“What about you, Lou?” Niall nudged Louis.

“Huh?” Louis asked.

“Would you hit it?”

“Nah.”

“No?” Liam laughed.

“She’s not my type.” Louis shrugged.

“What the hell is your type?” Niall asked.

“No one here.” Zayn said.

“No. There’s that, uh, that one girl, Rachel’s friend. Long, brown hair. Think she’s a freshman. She’s hot. Yep.”

“Oh yeah she’s hot.” Niall agreed. “Looks kind of like Jessica Alba?”

“Yeah her.”

“You don’t have a chance with her, man.” Zayn said.

“Why the fuck not?” Louis asked, offended.

“The last guy she was hooking up with is a senior. She only dates seniors.”

“Well I can change that.”

“Right.” Zayn laughed.

“We’ll believe it when we see it, Lou.” Niall said.

The door opened and a girl with blonde hair started when she saw the boys.

“I have to pee.”

“So pee.” Liam said.

“You can’t be serious.” She replied, hands on her hips.

“We’ll look away.”

She continued to stand there and stare at them.

“There’s another bathroom.” Zayn told her.

She rolled her eyes just as the door opened. And who else would it be besides the girl Louis was just talking about.

“Fuck.” He muttered under his breath as Niall elbowed him.

“There you are I’ve been looking for you!” She said to the blonde.

“I have to pee but these jackasses won’t leave.”

“Free world.” Zayn shrugged.

The blonde rolled her eyes before turning back to her friend. The guys all looked at Louis waiting for him to say something to her. Louis sighed and cleared his throat. He watched them check their reflections in the mirror and sighed.

“Hey.” He said softly. “Hey.” He said a little louder. The brown haired girl looked at him. “What’s your name?”

“Melissa.”

“Melissa.” He repeated. “Hey you know you don’t need to check your reflection.”

“What?” She asked with a smile.

“Yeah. It’s not going to do anything for you.” He teased as his friends laughed.

She gave him a look of disgust before turning around.

“Hey Melissa.”

She turned around, angry.

“I’m kidding. You are very beautiful, you know.” He mentally high-fived himself when he saw a slight smile. “You’re a freshman?”

“Yes.”

“What are you doing at this party?”

She shrugged. “I’m here with my friends.” Louis nodded as she turned to her friend. “Did you see Eric? He had those pills we took at the last party.”

“Oh yeah. Those were good.”

“I could really use one right now.”

“Same. I wonder if there are any here.” The blonde started rummaging through the drawers. She came across some medicine and lifted it up. “What is this?”

“Allergy pills.” Louis chuckled as he stood. “Honestly girls, if you wanted something, you can just ask.” Louis pulled a pill out of his pocket and showed it to the girls, smiling when Melissa’s eyes lit up. “Want it?”

“Yeah.”

Louis put it on his tongue and smirked. She looked over at her friend and bit her lip before pulling Louis in by the back of his neck and kissing him. Louis could hear his friends protesting as they got up to head back to the party, as did Melissa’s friend. She pulled away with a smile and started to lean in again when Louis pulled back.

“You’re welcome.” He said.

“You don’t want anything else?” Melissa asked, surprised.

“Enjoy the party.” Louis winked before leaving the bathroom.

 

~**~

 

“I’m so hungry!” Niall announced as he set his tray down.

“I’m pretty sure you got one of everything in the cafeteria.” Liam replied.

“Hey I’m a growing boy.” Niall reasoned as he took a bite of his orange.

“Hey.” Zayn greeted as he sat down with his own tray.

“What happened to you Friday night?” Niall asked Zayn.

“He was with Emily.” Liam said with a smirk.

“You hooked up with Emily?” Niall asked.

“Yep.” Zayn said with a cocky smile.

“Damn, man, she is so hot! How was it?”

“She’s a good lay for sure. Sucks dick like a pro.”

“Fuck, man!” Niall laughed. “You lucky dog. You hear this, Lou?” He asked, nudging Louis who had been quiet next to him.

“Yeah, I hear.”

“Hey what happened with you and Melissa?” Liam asked Louis.

Louis shrugged. “Ah nothing. She didn’t want someone walking in or something.” He rolled his eyes.

“Lame. That was a pretty good line though.”

Louis shrugged. “What can I say? I’m good like that.”

“Hello boys.” Erin, a fellow sophomore, greeted. She was with two other girls. “Have you met my friends Ana and Natalie?”

“Hello.” The boys greeted.

“So, uh, have you guys joined any extra curricular activities yet?” Erin asked.

“Uh, no.” Niall replied.

“You have to. All colleges are going to be looking at that on your college applications.”

“We have time.” Niall chuckled.

“No you have to do it now. They’re going to be looking at how long you have been doing it. It’s better to just go ahead and do it now.” She looked at her friends with a smile and turned back to the boys. “So my friends and I have started a drama club. You should join.”

“Drama? I’m not doing any plays or shit.” Zayn said.

“No we don’t do the plays. We help set up the props and organize the parties.”

“Parties?” Niall asked.

“Yeah they always do a get together to get to know each other before they start the play and one before the first night and a last one when it’s over.” The boys nodded. “Anyway you all should join. We have our first meeting this Friday. We’re going to go over the plan for the first party. We’ll have drinks and food too.”

“Food?” Niall asked. Liam elbowed him.

“Uh well I’ll be busy Friday. Got to help my roommates with some stuff.” Louis shrugged.

“Yeah I’ve got a family thing.” Zayn said.

“It’ll look good on your college applications.” Erin reiterated.

“Come on, what’ll it hurt?” Niall asked. The others looked at him incredulously. “What?”

Erin grinned at them. “I’ll see you guys Friday.” She said before turning and leaving.

“What the hell, Niall?” Zayn hissed.

“Yeah that’s lame as fuck, I don’t want to do that.” Liam said.

“Aw come on, how bad can it be? Besides Ana is fine I’m trying to get to know her. I saw the way she was eyeing me.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Liam sighed, rolling his eyes.

“You guys have to come, I’m not doing this on my own.” Niall pleaded.

“You got yourself into this mess.” Louis said.

“Please, guys? Come on!”  
  
Zayn rolled his eyes. “Fine. But you owe us.”

“Big time.” Liam added.

 

~**~

 

Louis checked his phone for third time before muttering to himself and heading into the gym.

“Hello, Louis!” Erin greeted.

“Hi.”

“Come on in, have a seat. We’ll start soon.”

Louis nodded before going to have a seat on the bleachers. He sighed and grabbed his phone, sending a group chat.

 

Louis

**_Where the fuck are you guys?_ **

Zayn

**_Shit, sorry, Lou, helping my family. I’ll try and be there soon._ **

 

Liam

**_I told you I don’t want to go!_ **

 

Louis

**_Niall!? This was YOUR idea!_ **

****

Niall

**_I’m on the way_ **

****

Louis

**_You fucking better be_ **

 

 

Louis shoved his phone back into his pocket as he looked around the gym. There were a bunch of freshman and some sophomores. And, fuck, there was Melissa. He was about to stand up and try to sneak out when he saw someone at the door.

_Whoa_. Louis thought as he sat back down, mesmerized. _Who is **that**? _ The tall drink of water standing next to Erin had to of been about six feet tall with curly brown hair with stunning green eyes, was extremely fit and clad in a black t-shirt, black jeans, and brown boots. Louis felt his mouth go dry as the object of his affection came towards him and locked eyes.

“Hello.” Said the deep, raspy voice.

“H-hi.” Louis replied.

Okay so the gorgeous person who was making Louis’ heart pound in his chest was a guy but he would deal with those feelings later. The guy made his way up the bleachers with those gorgeous long legs of his and sat on the row of bleachers behind Louis. Louis swallowed nervously knowing he wasn’t going to be able to concentrate knowing that hot man was behind him.

“Okay everyone, welcome! First, we’ll introduce ourselves.” Erin pointed towards her friends.

“I’m Natalie.” The brown haired girl to Erin’s right greeted.

“I’m Ana.” The blonde on her left said.

“And I’m Erin. We’re so glad for you all to be here! Today we will be discussing the play. They are doing _Romeo & Juliet_. Now we may have to help paint sets, they don’t have as many people as they want but Mr. Painter said he would get back to me and let me know. So, for now we are going to start planning for the dinner for the actors and staff. One of the actors said we could do it at her place so we at least already have a location. So we’ll need to discuss decorations and food.”

As she kept talking, Louis quietly snuck away. Once he knew he was safe, he let out a breath of relief and headed to the bathroom. He went into one of the stalls and sat on the toilet, pulling out his phone. He shook his head at his friends who he hadn’t heard any more from, and decided to play a game to pass the time, hoping Erin wouldn’t notice he was missing.

After a few minutes he heard the door shut and sighed, putting his phone away and opening the stall door only to stop short when he saw the same gorgeous guy from the meeting at the sink. He cleared his throat and went to the sink to wash his hands pretending like he wasn’t watching the gorgeous man from the corner of his eye. After a minute, he saw him take a paper towel, then another one, then another. He kept pulling them out as Louis furrowed his brow in confusion. Once they were all gone he threw them into the trash before he turned to Louis, surprise on his face.

“Oh, sorry, did you need one?”

This asshole.

“Here.” He grabbed one from the top of the trash pile and handed it to Louis.

Louis looked at it, at him, and then back at the paper.

“Come outside.”

Louis threw away the paper towel and followed him out front to a bench. The gorgeous man sat on the back of the bench and Louis followed suit on the other end. He plucked a joint from behind his ear, lit it, and took a hit before offering it to Louis. Louis took it, taking a hit of his own before giving it back.

“So, uh, drama club?”

Louis chuckled. “Yeah well my so called friend roped us into this because he thought that girl Ana is hot.”

The guy chuckled. “Where is he then?”

“Fuck if I know.” Louis replied as he took another hit.

“You don’t seem like a drama club type.”  
  
“What does that mean?”

“You just don’t look like you would want to be in a club like this.”

“Hm.” Louis replied, staring forward. “It’s good for college.”

The guy laughed. “Yeah.”

“Louis, there you are!”

Louis turned his head and, dammit, Melissa was following him everywhere.

“Uh, hi.” Louis greeted with a tight smile.

“So, uh, we’re grouping up. Erin is putting everyone into groups and assigning them to certain tasks. I, um, thought maybe we could be in a pair together.”

“Oh, uh, well.” Louis stammered.

“I thought we were going to be a pair.” The gorgeous guy said, saving him.

“Oh, right, um yeah we already talked about being a pair. Me and um,” crap Louis had no idea what his name was. He feigned a cough. “Me and um,” he faked another cough hoping the guy would get it.

“Harry.” He said, sticking his hand out.

“Melissa.” She replied, shaking his hand.

“Right so, uh, me and Harry here are already a pair.”

“Oh.” She replied, disappointed. “Well maybe we can be three.”

Louis shot a desperate look to Harry.

“Um I think Erin said it had to be groups of two. She was pretty adamant about it, but I mean, we can check.” Harry said to her.

“Okay.” Melissa agreed.

They stood there in awkward silence for a second.

“Hey, can I have a drag?” She asked Harry as she sat on the seat of the bench between Louis and Harry.

“Sure.”

Harry handed her the joint as he and Louis shared a look. Well, this was an interesting night.

 


	2. I Want to be Someone Else or I'll Explode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who have read, commented, and given kudos! I really appreciate it!

Louis yawned, rolling over and looking at the clock. Seeing it was past 11, he decided he should probably get up. He yawned again as he sat up, grabbing his phone off his end table. He didn’t have any messages so he opened Facebook, biting his lip for a second before tapping on the search bar. He typed in Harry and scrolled through the responses, but didn’t see any pictures or profiles he thought could be his. Sighing, he laid his phone back on the dresser and stared up at his ceiling.

Friday had been…interesting. In a way he was actually glad his friends hadn’t shown up cause he probably would’ve never talked to Harry at all.

Harry. God. He was gorgeous. He had beautiful eyes and dimples. Louis could get lost in his eyes forever. Okay so he sounded like a damn cliché, so what? Sue him. He hadn’t felt anything like this before. But, was he gay? Louis rolled over on his side, staring at his wall. He had always felt different. While his friends were talking about girls Louis hadn’t felt attracted to any of them. He always thought there was something wrong with him.

One day he watched a movie where a guy pretty much felt the same way as him and he ended up being gay. Louis hadn’t really thought about it, but he did notice attractive guys. But was he gay? That was something he struggled with internally for a few years now and he was still unsure.

But Harry. Harry was just so incredibly hot. And sweet. And wonderful. And even though Louis had only talked to him that one night, he was so insanely attracted to him and could not get Harry off his brain. So, maybe he was gay. Maybe.

“Louis?” A voice interrupted his thoughts.

Louis sat up, seeing his roommate, Travis.

“Good. You’re up.”

“What’s up?” Louis asked with a sigh as Travis plopped down on his bed.

“Nothing. What are you up to today?”

“Don’t know. Probably just lie here all day.”

“How boring.” Travis sighed. “Look at this guy, isn’t he hot?” He exclaimed while shoving his phone in Louis’ face. Louis leaned his head back so he could see better. Travis was showing him a picture of a guy with a shaved head trying to look all smoldering in the picture. He shook his head.

“Hot isn’t he?”

“I’m sure he is.”

“You can say a guy is hot without being gay, Louis.” Travis rolled his eyes.

“I said I’m sure he is.”

“Whatever.” Travis sighed. “I’m going to hook up with him today anyway.”

“Hm.”

“He claims he’s straight but I know he’s gay.”

“You think everyone is gay, Trav.”

“He loves to suck dick and does it amazingly well. Besides, I have an amazing gaydar.”

“Okay since you’re such an expert, what are the characteristics of a gay guy?”

“Well messaging someone saying you want to suck his dick is a pretty good indication.” Louis rolled his eyes. “I give him six months till he’s out of the closet. Hell, he’ll probably want to after me. Cause no one compares to this.” He waved a hand over himself.

Louis shook his head and started scrolling through his own phone. He ignored the messages Travis was getting because he could see he was on Grindr which Louis knew all too well was an app for gay hookups. Having a gay guy for a roommate who was very open about his sexuality, Louis knew more than he ever wanted to know about homosexual relationships.

Travis’ phone rang and he gasped, turning to Louis. “It’s him!” He exclaimed. “Hello.” He greeted before getting up and leaving Louis’ room.

Louis shook his head and chuckled before pulling up Instagram. He scrolled through his feed for a minute before going to the search, looking for Harry again. Unfortunately, there were still too many results and none of them seemed to be the Harry he was looking for.

Sighing he laid his phone down next to him and stared at the ceiling. He lay that way for a minute before his phone ring. Picking it up he shook his head before answering it.

“I’m really not talking to you.”

“Lou, I know I’m sorry.” Niall said. “My brother came in and my mom wouldn’t let me leave.”

“Likely story. You all ditched me.”

“I know and I feel shitty about that.”

“You should.”

“I’m sorry, Lou. I am.”

“What do you need, Niall?”

“What are you up to? I was going to head to the school to kick a soccer ball around. Wanted to see if you wanted to join.”

“Yeah. Sure. I’m not doing anything.”

“Awesome I’ll be at your place in a few.”

Louis hung up the phone and got up, changed, and grabbed a soccer ball from his closet. He left his room and headed downstairs from his apartment and leaned against the wall as Niall walked up.

“Hey Lou,”

“Nialler.”

They walked to the school talking about their weekend and Louis filling Niall in on what he missed at the drama club meeting.

“Man.” Niall laughed. “Erin’s always been kind of nutty.”

“For sure.” Louis agreed as they approached the school.

“The door’s unlocked? I wonder why?” Niall asked as he saw the door to the gym propped open.

“Must be one of the clubs.”

“Probably. Let’s go in.”

“What for?”

“I left my homework for tomorrow in my locker.”

Louis chuckled as they walked inside. “What were you going to do about it for class tomorrow?”

“I was going to try and make up an excuse and beg for an extension.”

Louis laughed. “Oh Nialler."

They walked to Niall’s locker and back through the gym when Louis saw some fliers from The Drama Club still sitting on the bleachers. He picked up the roster from their meeting and scanned the names until he saw the one he was looking for. _Harry Styles._ So that was his name. Harry Styles.

“Lou, you coming?”

“Yeah. Right behind you.”

 

~**~

 

Louis sat on a bench out front of school, engrossed in his phone. He searched for Harry Styles in Facebook and was disappointed he didn’t find any results. He tried Instagram as well, but still had no luck. So Louis did what anyone would do, he turned to Google.

When he typed in his name, he was surprised to actually find some results. Some were other people with the same name, but there was a YouTube video that had his name in the title. _Me interviewing future star Harry Styles._

 

_“Hi everyone! Ed here. I’m here interviewing future star Harry Styles.”_

_Harry chuckled. He was sitting on a bar stool with a guitar in his lap. “Hello.” He waved._

_“So, mister future star, want to tell us what you’re writing about?”_

_Harry shrugged. “Nothing in particular.”_

_“No love songs?”_

_“Nah. Love is for the naïve."_

_“There you go. There’s a song for you!”_

_Harry laughed, dimples on full display._

 

Louis looked up, spotting Erin walking across the sidewalk. He pocketed his phone and got up, hurriedly walking towards her.

“Hey, Erin.”

Erin turned, smiling at Louis. “Hey Louis." 

“Hey. So, uh, are there any drama club meetings coming up?”

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Wow, how nice of you to be so involved! We don’t have any meetings this week, but we will have one next week. Hey, actually I was thinking about doing a party for us to kind of get to know each other too. Do you think we can do it at yours?" 

“Uh. Why can’t we do it at yours?”

“Well my mom is home so she won’t let me do it there. Natalie’s parents are super strict. Ana might be able to but her house is kind of small.”

“Oh well.”

“What’s up?” Louis heard behind him. He turned to see Niall and Zayn joining their conversations. Great.

“Louis has agreed to have the get together for our next meeting at his place!"

“Oh?” Zayn turned to Louis with a small laugh. 

“Well I, mean, I have roommates, so I would have to check with them." 

“Hey Louis.” Melissa interrupted.

“Hey.” Louis replied.

“So, um, we’re having a party tonight. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come?”

“Oh, uh, well. Tonight? I think I have something going on.”

Niall put a hand over his mouth. “Louis’ lost his mind. Of course we’ll be there." 

“Cool! Louis, I’ll text you the address. Do you guys think you’ll be able to get beer?”

“I’m sure we can.” Niall replied with a smile.

“Awesome! Bye!”

“What the hell?” Louis said to Niall.

“Have you lost your mind? She’s cute and she’s into you. Always agree.” 

Louis rolled his eyes. “Where the hell are we going to get beer?” 

“Isn’t Travis 21?”

“Yeah.”

“Ask him.”

“He’ll make a big deal of it.”

“I’ll ask my brother, too.” Niall said.

“Fine, fine. I got to go or I’ll miss the bus. Bye guys.” 

“Bye.”

Louis shook his head as he headed to the bus stop. Once he got there, he got out his phone and pulled up Travis’ contact.

 

**_Hey are you home this weekend?_ **

****

Louis scrolled through Facebook as he waited until Travis replied. He adjusted his snapback just as his phone beeped.

 

**_Sorry. Out of town._ **

 

Well there goes that theory. The bus arrived and Louis climbed up the stairs, not paying attention to anything around him. He leaned against a pole in the front still engrossed in his phone.

“Hello.” He heard. 

Louis looked up, gasping softly when he saw Harry staring back at him.

  
“Hi." 

“On your way home?”

“Uh yeah. Um, you?”

“Yeah.”

Louis looked back at his phone when it beeped and Harry chuckled.

“Some conversation we’re having!” He laughed, dimples sticking out prominently. 

Louis looked up, smiling at him. “Sorry, um, I’m trying to find someone to get me beer.”

“I can get it for you.”

Louis looked at him, surprised. “You’re not 21?” 

“No but I have a fake ID.”

“Oh. Okay.”

When the bus stopped they both got off. Louis waited outside while Harry went in. A few minutes later, Harry came back out empty handed.

“So apparently I don’t have it on me."

“Oh.”

“Want to go back to mine so I can grab it?”  
  
“Sure.” Louis shrugged his heart pounding at the thought of going to Harry’s.

Louis followed Harry to an apartment building and up two flights of stairs. Harry took his keys out and opened the door, holding it open for Louis. 

“Hello?” He called. “Hello?” He called again. “Sweet.” He said softly when there was no answer.

He kicked off his shoes and Louis followed suit.

“I’ll just go look for my ID.”

Louis nodded and hung out in the kitchen, looking around. The cabinets were white, as were the walls. There was a corkboard across from the cabinet with bills and papers as well as some drawings. Louis looked at them, smiling.

  
“Did you draw these?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah I did.”

“They’re funny.”

“Yeah? You think so?” Louis nodded.

“Did you find it?”

“No.” Harry sighed. “I know it’s gotta be here somewhere.” Louis nodded again. “But I did find this.”

Louis looked over to see him holding up a joint. “Hey.” He grinned.

He followed Harry to the bay window and sat down on one end while Harry sat on the other. Harry lit it, took a hit, and passed it to Louis. 

“So did you go to Adams last year?” Louis asked.

Harry shook his head. “No. I went to Marshall across town.”

Louis nodded. “You’re a senior, right?” Harry nodded. “Changed for your last year?”

“Yeah. I did.” Harry said as he took a hit. 

“That kinda sucks.”

“Yeah. It is what it is.” He shrugged. He watched as Louis took a hit. “So, what kind of music do you listen to?”

“Uh, well, I like 90s rap.”

“Yeah?”

Louis nodded. “Yeah the music back in the 90s was good, man. Not like it is today.”

“I agree.” 

“You listen to it too?”

“I have, a little. It’s not all I listen to but I have some stuff here. Like 2Pac and stuff.”

  
“Nice.”

“We can listen to it in a bit.” He shrugged.

Louis looked at him to see if he was joking and smiled slowly. In a bit? So they were just going to hang out for a while. Louis was totally okay with that.

They talked until they finished the joint and Harry announced he was hungry. Louis followed him into the kitchen and sat on the counter as Harry raided the fridge.

“Well. I’ve got bread. I’ve got cheese. I don’t have butter. So grilled cheese is out.” He stuck his head up enough he could see Louis over the fridge door. “Man that sounds so good right now, too.” Louis chuckled. “Ah wait. I do have some lunchmeat though. Looks like turkey.” He stood up straight and sniffed in the package. “Think it’s still good.”

“That stuff has an expire date on the side.”

“I know but I don’t follow that stuff. Too many grocery stores change the date to avoid wasting money. Turkey okay?”

“Sure.” Louis shrugged.

Harry got four slices of bread and laid them on the counter with the lunchmeat. As Harry was gathering the ingredients, Louis’ phone went off. He checked it, seeing two separate texts.

 

Niall

**_Hey were you able to get beer? My brother got us some. When are we going over there?_ **

****

**_Hello?_ **

****

**_Louis?_ **

****

**_Answer me!_ **

****

Louis sighed and opened the second message.

  

Melissa

**_Hey so we thought we’d start the party at nine. Is that cool? My friend Leah lives off Cameron St just let me know when you’re close and we can come down there and get you._ **

****

**_Also, can you bring that stuff you gave me from the last party? My friends are asking._ **

 

**_What time are you getting here?_ **

****

**_Hello?_ **

****

****

To Niall:

**_Sorry Melissa said something came up so they cancelled the party so I think I’m just gonna sit at home and chill._ **

****

To Melissa:

**_Sorry we forgot we had something to do tonight so we won’t be able to attend. I’m sorry :(_ **

****

 

 

“Want anything? Mustard? Mayonnaise? Ketchup?”

“Ketchup?” Louis asked, disgusted, looking up from his phone.

Harry shrugged. “My roommate does it. I’ve never tried it.”

“Sounds gross.” 

“We should try it.” Harry grinned.

“No way. I’m starving. I don’t want my food ruined.”

Harry chuckled. “I have more to make another.” 

“You can do it to yours if you want, but I’m not.”

Harry shrugged before grabbing the ketchup. He put it on one side of his sandwich and lifted it up. 

“Here goes.” He said before taking a bite. He made a face immediately and Louis laughed. “Oh my god. It’s awful.” He said as Louis continued to laugh. “You should try it.”

“Hell no! Your face says it all. No thank you.”

“Come on, just a bite!” He said, holding it up to Louis.

“No way!” Louis protested pulling his head away from the sandwich. “Get that away from me!”

“Fine, fine. I’m trashing this and making another one.” 

Louis chuckled as he ate his own sandwich and watched Harry. God, he was seriously beautiful. Louis knew he was in trouble. He had no idea if Harry felt the same way. Hell he had no idea if Harry was gay. Wait, was he gay? Louis still had no idea, but each time he saw Harry or spent time with him, the more he fell for him.

The doorbell rang, interrupting his thoughts.

“Oh fuck, what time is it?” Harry asked.

Louis looked at his phone. “Uh, just past 8.”

“Damn I forgot I invited some people over. You’re more than welcome to stay though, I’ve got plenty of beer.”

“Okay.” Louis shrugged. He was definitely not ready to leave anyway.

Harry got up to get the door. Louis could hear him talking.

“Hey! So sorry, I lost track of time. Come on in, come on in. Umm, I have a guest so.”

Harry walked in with a couple of girls and a guy following him. 

“Hi, I’m Hannah.” One of the girls said.

“I’m Erica.” The other girl said. 

“Aaron.” The guy said.

“This is Louis.” Harry introduced. Another girl peered over Harry’s shoulder. She had long, sandy blonde hair and blue eyes. “Louis, this is my girlfriend, Kristin.”

Louis felt like he had been punched in the gut. Girlfriend? He had a girlfriend? Louis felt so stupid. He totally misjudged this one. Fuck.

“Hi.” She greeted with a smile.

“Hi.” Louis replied, trying his best to muster a smile.

He really wished the ground would open up and suck him in. What an idiot he had been.

 

 


	3. Call Your Girlfriend. It's Time You Had the Talk

Louis rolled over, scrubbing at his face. He sighed as he stared at the ceiling for a second before grabbing his phone. He had three texts from Melissa and groaned as he opened the message.

 

 

Melissa

**_Hi I just wanted to let you know that I spoke to your friends and if you aren’t interested in me that’s fine. You could’ve just said so. It was a pretty shitty move to just not show up though. You should’ve just said you didn’t want to come and weren’t interested._ **

****

**_You know the least you can do is answer me._ **

****

**_HELLO?!_ **

****

**_Wow. Okay jackass._ **

****

****

Louis was about to answer when his phone rang. He sighed when he saw it was Niall.

“Hello?” He answered with a sigh.

“Well if it isn’t the traitor.”  


“Traitor? Really? And you called me, Niall.”

“Yeah to tell you that was a pretty shitty thing to do telling Melissa we had other plans when we didn’t. We wanted to go you know if you didn’t you could’ve said something.

“I tried! But you interrupted me and said we would go.”

“Well.” He was quiet for a second. “Still. We wanted to go. That was pretty shitty.”

“Yes I know.”

“Is Melissa pissed?”

“Oh yeah. I woke up to some angry texts.”

“I bet.” Niall chuckled.

Louis sighed. “I’ll make it up to you guys. Next party."

“Yeah you better, man. Look I got to go, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Alright. Bye.”

“Later.”

Louis hung up and shook his head at his friend. He sat up against his headboard and opened his browser, biting at his lip. He couldn’t believe Harry had a girlfriend. Louis could swear he was flirting with him. He was new to the whole gay thing but he could swear it was flirting. But, maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was just in Louis’ head. Either way Harry had a girlfriend so Louis just had to move on.

  
But how? He really wasn’t that attracted to Melissa, or, he didn’t really feel like it. How could he make himself have feelings for her?

Well when all else fails, ask Google. So that’s what Louis did. He sat on his laptop for hours googling things about being gay, and being attracted to women when you’re gay and how to fake attraction. Google, of course, had tons of information and Louis hoped it would help him.

 

~**~

 

Louis opened his locker and grabbed the books he needed out of it. As he was grabbing his science book, all his papers fell on the floor.

“Fuck.” Louis muttered as he leaned down to pick them up.

“Hi Louis!”

Louis looked up, seeing Erin smiling as she leaned against the lockers. He picked up the last of his papers and stood up, shoving them back in his locker.

“Hey Erin.”

“So I talked to your roommate.” 

Louis’ eyes went wide with surprise. “You talked to Travis?”

  
“Yeah on Facebook. I told him about the party and he’s totally okay with it.”

“Oh. Well. Umm, it’s not really him, it’s our other roommate Sarah. She doesn’t want anyone there. She doesn’t like people very much. So.”

“Well you should tell Sarah that we’re all really nice. She needs to socialize. The party will be good for her!” 

“Uh…yeah! Yeah.” Fuck. Louis was fucked.

“Awesome! We’ll see you tonight then!” 

“Yeah. Tonight.”

“Bye!”  


“Bye.”

Well there was no way out of this one. He owed it to the guys anyway. Louis looked down the hall, spotting Melissa at her locker. He bit his lip before making his way down the hall. He leaned against the group of lockers as he watched her.

“Hi.” 

Melissa looked up, frowning when she saw who it was. “Hi.”

“So, uh, I was wondering if I could get your help.” She went back to getting whatever she needed out of her locker. “So there’s this really cute freshman girl and I totally pissed her off. I didn’t mean to but I can be quite the asshole sometimes and I did break a promise so she really has every reason to be mad but I’m really, really sorry it happened. So what do you think? Do you think I should go ask the seniors to beat me up or what?” He smiled when she saw a trace of a smile on her face. “I mean even if it’s like down the road that’s fine as long as she can forgive me.”

“Dork.” She muttered. 

“Oh now I’m a dork too? Well shit. Well now I’ve gotten called an asshole by the cute girl and a dork by you. Whatever will I do?” He sighed dramatically. 

She made a face at him before turning and heading down the hall.

“Wait were you just trying to kill me with a look just now or what?” She turned and shook her head at him, smiling before turning back around, Louis following. “Is that what just happened?”

 

~**~

 

“Hey guys.” Louis said as he joined his friends in the row of seats in the auditorium.

“Hey.” They replied. 

They were watching the dance team practice and seemed entranced by the girls. Louis rolled his eyes as he sat back in his seat, also watching. He looked at his friends and then back at the girls not feeling the same as them. He sighed as he watched, secretly wishing he felt the same they did. The dance instructor clapped his hands to the beat as the girls danced.

“Alright take five!” The instructor shouted.

“Man, he is like super gay.” Louis chuckled. 

Liam looked at him, slightly offended. “What?” 

“Did you see him? He was so flamboyant.” 

“What’s wrong with that?”  
  
“I mean nothing but he’s just like so gay.” 

“So gay? What is up with you?”

“Oh my god, guys! Guess what happened to me last night.” Niall exclaimed, interrupting the conversation Louis and Liam were having. And Louis was definitely glad.

“What?” Zayn asked, also unaware of the conversation beside him.

“So I’m playing soccer with Joey and Jesse and Ana sits in the bleachers watching. So I go up to her afterwards and asked if she wanted to hang out and she goes no and we ended up making out behind the bleachers!”

“Ah shit Niall got some.” Liam teased.

“How was it?” Zayn asked. 

“She is one hell of a kisser. We exchanged numbers and we’re supposed to be going out on a date Saturday.” Niall said excitedly. 

“Bow-chicka-bow-wow.” Zayn teased.

“Hello.”

They all turned to see Harry standing in the aisle. Louis licked his lips and cleared his throat, trying to hide slightly behind Liam.

“You, uh, left this Friday.” Harry said, throwing a hat at Louis.

“Left where?” Niall asked, looking at Louis.

Louis’ eyes went wide, his heart hammered in his chest. He did not want the guys to know. He shot a pleading look to Harry praying he got the message. Harry looked at him, face unchanging.

“The cafeteria.” He shrugged before walking off.

Louis let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

“Who was that?” Zayn asked.

“Yeah that was weird.” Niall agreed.

 

~**~

 

The party at Louis’ was in full swing on Friday night. Erin had come up with the idea of a black light party so everyone was wearing white and people were passing around black light paint and markers around to decorate themselves and their clothes with.

In typical party fashion, there were people dancing in the middle of the room holding either red solo cups or beers. Louis had plopped himself on the couch with Melissa who was currently laughing at something Louis said.

“It wasn’t that funny.” Louis said with a smile.

“Sorry, but it kind of was.” She giggled, putting her hand over her mouth. 

Louis chuckled and shook his head.

“So, uh, what kind of music do you like?” Louis asked.

“You’ll judge me.”

“Just tell me. It can’t be that bad.”

“Um, well I like Justin Beiber.” She giggled.

“Oh lord.” Louis groaned, smacking his palm over his eyes. “Oh no.” He groaned again, throwing his head back against the couch as she laughed. “Ouch.”

“He’s not that bad!” She exclaimed shoving him slightly.

Louis lifted his hand enough to look at her. “He’s awful.” He deadpanned.

She laughed again. “Alright, fine. What kind of music do you like to listen to?”

“Well I like 90s stuff. Rap, R&B, that kind of stuff.”

“Oh yeah I’ve heard a little of it.”

“Yeah?” She nodded. “Like what?”

“Well I heard like, um, what is it called? ‘California Love?’”

“Okay.” Louis nodded.

“Yeah and, um, what’s that other one?” She thought out loud. 

Louis heard Erin say hi and looked over, tensing up when he saw Harry with Kristin. He watched as Harry hugged Erin and introduced her to Kristin. He looked over, locking eyes with Louis. Fuck he was beautiful. _Get it together, Louis._ He thought. _He has a damn girlfriend._

Louis looked at Melissa, who was still talking, god bless her. She was pretty cute, he couldn’t deny that regardless of how he felt about someone else. He put his beer to his lips and swallowed the rest of it before stopping Melissa mid sentence as he kissed her.

She wasn’t really that bad of a kisser. Her lips were soft and she tasted of the mixed drink she had earlier. It wasn’t long before she stuck her tongue in his mouth when they felt someone plop down on the other side of the couch.

“You guys are looking cozy there.” Harry smiled.

“Harry!” Melissa exclaimed, hugging him. “The other part to our group!” 

“Yeah.” He laughed. “Having fun?”

“Oh so much!”

“Nice place here, Lou.” He reached around Melissa to place a hand on Louis’ shoulder to make sure he knew he was talking to him.

Not that Louis needed that. He pretended his stomach didn’t jump when Harry touched him. Must’ve been the alcohol. Yes. The alcohol.

“It’s so nice! Like this is sick. He’s got awesome roommates too! Have you met Travis?” She pointed to a guy dancing in the middle of the room with one of the girls wearing many different colors of black light paint on his face.

“Travis? No.” Harry replied.

“He’s gay but he’s like super sweet! And funny! Oh my god, I love gays they’re so funny!” She giggled. 

“That’s a bit of a generalized statement isn’t it?” 

Louis, who had been looking at his beer bottle peered around Melissa at Harry. 

“What?” Melissa asked.

“You’re making a generalization that all gays are funny. That’s like saying all Mexicans are illegals.” 

“What?” She laughed, looking to Louis incredulously. “That is not even the same thing! Saying gays are funny is, like, a nice thing to say. Saying all Mexicans are illegals is so not positive at all!” 

“Well you shouldn’t generalize that all gays are these funny people here to amuse you.”

“I’m not.” Melissa rolled her eyes, turning to Louis. “Louis, let’s go dance.”

She grabbed Louis’ arm and dragged him off the couch. He followed her to where people were dancing in the middle of the room and started dancing with her. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Harry get up and head over to where Kristin was and start talking to her.

 

_Fuck this._ Louis thought. _I’m straight._

  
Louis grabbed Melissa and started making out with her. Her arms went around his waist as they made out. He just couldn’t help himself though. Even making out with someone his eyes immediately looked for Harry and his stomach dropped when he saw he was making out with his girlfriend. He tried not to think about it, tried to focus on Melissa, but he could just not keep his eyes off of Harry. And soon Louis realized Harry knew he was looking. Harry locked eyes with him and it was like he was doing this for him. Louis knew it was stupid but he could almost swear Harry was trying to make him jealous. If Louis was honest, he definitely was trying to make Harry jealous. But there was no way Harry was doing the same thing. Right?

“Guys, lets go! We’ve got to get to the drama club meeting!” Erin called.  
Louis broke away from Melissa who grinned at him as she went to grab her coat. She ran into Kristin and started talking to her as they got ready to leave.

“Louis!” Louis looked over at her. “Me, Kristin, and Harry got a cab together. Are you coming with us?”

“No I’m going to clean up a little first.”

“Oh. Okay. Bye.”  
Louis waved at her as she and everyone else left. He turned to look at the apartment and sighed at the mess. He didn’t know what had happened to Travis but he was sure he was going to hook up with someone, which meant Louis was stuck with the mess.

He started grabbing beer cans and pouring them down the drain when he heard someone behind him. He turned around, surprised to see Harry behind him.

 “I thought you were leaving?” Louis asked.

“I have a bike. I said I’d take it over.” Harry replied as he leaned against the counter. 

Louis nodded as he grabbed more beer, pouring it down the drain. Harry grabbed some as well, helping him clean up.

“So, uh,” Louis looked over at him, “Fun times with Melissa?” He asked with a half grin.

Louis scoffed, shaking his head. “She’s nice.” 

“Did you know Kristin and I have been together since we were like 14?”

Louis was silent for a second before he nodded. “Okay.” Why the hell was Harry telling him this? He really did not care nor want to hear it.

“Yeah. You know it was cool at first and everything but, um, I can tell we’re drifting apart.” Louis glanced at him and nodded. “Yeah but, um, I can’t dump her.”

“Okay.” Louis said slowly. 

“She, uh, lost her leg when she was a kid and now she has a wooden one.” Louis looked over, surprised. “So if I were to dump her she would think it was because of that and then she would just be all sad and depressed over her leg.” 

“What? Seriously?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah she was playing with a friend and she fell onto some train tracks and the train ran over her leg.”

Louis’ eyes grew comically wide. “Oh my god!”

Harry nodded again. “Yeah it was pretty crazy. She’s got like a wooden leg now. It’s crazy. The things they can do with it now is pretty neat. You know, she just like can’t go out in the rain cause it may rot or something.”

Louis looked at him, his eyes narrowing. “You’re fucking with me.”

“Of course I’m fucking with you!” Harry laughed.

“You asshole!” Louis replied, laughing as well as he pushed Harry’s shoulder. 

“I was wondering when you were going to catch on.” Harry laughed. “She doesn’t have a wooden leg, she’s fine.” 

“You ass.” Louis chuckled. “That’s a shitty think to joke about.” Harry shrugged.

They were quiet for a second, but it wasn’t an awkward silence at all. 

“She’s sweet, though.” Louis said, as much as it killed him to say it. “Kristin.” He said softly. He didn’t mean to say it with malice but he realized it probably came out that way.

 God Louis was so fucked. So incredibly fucked. He was so crazy about a straight guy. Fuck. Why? Why did he have to fall for someone he had no chance with? Why was the universe so cruel?

Louis was so busy feeling sorry for himself he didn’t realize Harry had scooted closer until he was in Louis’ personal space. Louis did nothing to move and he could feel his heart pound in his chest. He prayed Harry didn’t hear it too. This couldn’t mean what he thought, could it? There was no way, right? 

Louis’ thoughts were interrupted when he realized Harry was leaning towards him. Oh. My. God. Harry was going to kiss him. Harry was going to kiss him. He was so close. Right there. Louis could feel his breath on his face, could smell the cologne he was wearing. He started to lean in as well when they heard a knock at the door.

They jumped apart, Louis giving Harry a shy smile as he went to answer the door. He pulled it open revealing Randy, one of Travis’ friends.

“Ugh I’ve had the worst night!” Randy said as he walked into the apartment. “Where is Travis? Did you have a party in here?” He turned to Louis. “And didn’t invite me?”

“Um, Travis is out I think.”

“Of course he is. I’ll just wait here until he gets back, I already texted him. I’m so mad right now. Seriously, Louis, guys are awful, stay straight.”

Louis shot Harry a glance.

“I, um, better get to that meeting.” Harry said.

“Oh, uh, okay.” Louis replied.

Louis walked him to the door. Harry turned around, awkwardly standing in the doorway to the hall.

“Um, tell everyone I can’t make it. I’ll be at the next one. I better stay here with him.” 

Harry nodded. “Okay. I’ll tell Erin. I’m sure she’ll flip out.” He chuckled.

Louis chuckled as well. “Oh I’m sure I’ll hear about it next week.”

Louis bit his lip, staring down at the floor. 

“So, uh, I guess I’ll be going.” Harry said.

“Okay. Um, bye. Be careful. People drive crazy out there.”

“Yeah they do. I will.” He smiled. “Bye Louis.”

“Bye Harry.”

Louis waved to him one more time before he closed the door and leaned against it. What the hell was that tonight?

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Kudos and comments are as lovely as you xx 
> 
>  
> 
> Find me on twitter under the same name!


End file.
